Elusive

A letter to the elusive

Lately as I sit around the house I have been thinking about you, happy with life as it is but wondering if you're the one thing I've been missing, then I realize your not something I can wait around for, as elusive as you are, I need to be constantly looking for you. Be sure that I don't fear you, I have been close, very close to finding you, only for you to escape again in some other creative way. It's as if karma has been keeping me from you, but I know it can only last so long, and then I'll find you and it will be the last and only thing I will ever need to be happier than I already am.

Only on certain occasions have I thought your existence wasn't important, but it only takes a quick walk around the park or a glance into a fancy restaurant to see your many forms appear before I am reminded again of your controlling nature. It is the only type of control that I will freely allow, because I know in your true form, nothing else matters and trust is the only way to keep you alive. There are a million ways to describe you but I am sure the best way will never need the assistance of words to explain why you exist.

Very often do I see people looking for you too, many times they think they have found you only to be let down and disappointed by your evil twin, the twin that pretends to be you only to get what it wants. It's terrible, it's makes life unbearable sometimes and I have seen many people fall because the search is just too much, you are hard to find, exhaustingly elusive but I know it is in the search for you that makes finding you so much more valuable and lasting. I tell those who cry for you to not give up, but I fear many have met your twin and simply don't believe you're there.

Every once in awhile someone comes by and I can see you in them, but as with the others, trying to find you has been hard, I am confused if you are really you or your twin and I know that this has blinded me from knowing the real you. I will not give up, there are many of us looking for you and you will be found. Some will find you before others and they will be the lucky ones, but I know, I hope that you will not be so elusive to everyone, some need you more than you will ever know, I know I myself am very close and hope I can help those who have almost given up. You will be found and I won't need anything else. Your everywhere but no where, Your all around but hard to see, you are on everyone's mind and in the beginning of every paragraph in a summer poem. You are elusive, but I welcome the challenge.

Effortless

The Effortless

Without a doubt, some of the most interesting things to have ever happened were never planned. It's easy to imagine things in life going perfectly as you had anticipated it, but we quickly learn early on that this notion is simply not the case. If we were to effortlessly pass a test or earn money or meet a special someone, we would be void of character. We would have lived our lives without ever knowing what challenge is and building the strength we need to get through the next one.

There are many things that are thrown our way that cannot be explained and it is our reaction to them that determines the outcome. But it is in these moments that we carve our character and make us the way we are and how we are to be remembered. To put it in perspective:

“Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.”

(Samuel Butler, 1835-1902)

Life is like playing a violin, each person you meet is yet another bit of advice at getting better, by the time we have grown up, we are masters, but it all depends on how we use the advice.

There are only a few things that are important, at least to a majority of people that I have met. Life is about growing up, it's about meeting people, it's about having friends and a loving family (by loving family I mean being raised by one and/or raising one). They also all have a phase of irresponsible and reckless decisions, but it is this phase that develops our ability to make decisions, forcing us to learn quickly about what makes us indeed happy or sad and what is truly important for our own success. To go through this phase effortlessly is to lose the ability to make truly good decisions. By the way my definition of a decision is one based off experience, not one you have been told is the right one to choose. Challenge builds who we are, it builds friendships, relationships and makes goals worth achieving.

The purpose of what I have been writing is that you can't focus on one particular event, a success or a failure to gauge how you have been living or the choices you have made. If you don't get a job, it doesn't always mean it was because you were a terrible candidate for it. If you develop a crush for someone and they don't share the same feeling, it doesn't mean your an unattractive person or you were not good enough for them. It is nonsense that I am familiar with and hear quite often. It's silly, one should never focus on any single action as the sum of all their efforts, it won't put things in the correct perspective. These are just experiences:

“Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.”

-Vernon Sanders Law

Experience requires effort, it is impossible to know what life holds for you by sitting around waiting for things to happen. At the same time, you can't expect to gain more useful experience by working for as many jobs as possible or randomly hooking up as often as you think would make you cool. It's a silly mistake that is often made and rarely learned from, experience takes effort and effort takes time, so to know what truly makes you happy takes time. But.....

“Experience teaches only the teachable.”

-- Aldous Huxley (1894 – 1963)

So keep your minds open and make an effort.