The old man and me

The old man and me

"Why do you live," I asked, "you are old and in pain". I gazed at the old man wondering what his reason was for being here. My curiosity wasn't to know when he would die, but to understand his purpose better, to see the things through his eyes that only someone of his age could describe properly.

"Son" he began " life isn't about knowing when you are going to die, it is about realizing what is important to you and holding on to them, cherishing the things that keep you happy." " If I could go back and talk to myself 50 years ago I would not tell myself to change a thing, but", he continued " I would explain to myself the importance of learning from your mistakes. Mistakes make us human, it is learning from them and not repeating them that helps us grow and makes us a better person."

"I understand old man", I confirmed, " so these problems you speak of, what am I to expect?" "Can I know what you know"

"That is not possible son", "Each person lives his life according to the choices they make. Guidance should not be given to those who want to live, they will find their own paths." The old man paused, taking in a breath of air, wheezing a bit, but ready to explain his reasoning. "Those who need guidance, need help, because they make the same mistake and need to be given ideas to help them out of the difficulties they have put themselves in."

"But old man" I interrupted "that does not seem fair to not give everyone advice, maybe it could help them one day, it could give them the opportunity they need to give them an advantage in life."

"That is a good point son, you are clever" he smiled," but you must know that those who want to live, do not need advice, they will find their own advantages in life, they will know what is good for them and those around them will take notice, it is just how it is."

As I sat there, pondering the thoughts of this old man, I noticed that he was indeed a humble person, I could not imagine him needing much, but I did not know why. He seemed content with the way he had lived, yet he was not done. He was aged, ill from his age, but his heart was strong, it could be heard in his words. I knew he was a person I should listen to, if only to help understand the one thing I doubt he would tell me: the purpose of life, of being.

"Old man", I began, " I want to listen to your words, to understand them, to better help me know why things are the way they are. I know people who hurt themselves and never learn, they have potential to be great, yet they fail to try. I know I live life, but it hurts to see these great people fail"

"You are wise beyond your years son" he winked "compassion is a trait of the gifted, something rare that is too often not found in a person." He continued, "It is what will make you a great person, but it is something you must be careful about" I looked at him oddly, not expecting and negative quality to being a compassionate person.

"I see you are confused son" he gestured "Compassion is indeed a great thing for a person to possess, but you must know that there are people that cannot be helped. Son, I do not mean that they shouldn't be helped, everyone deserves a chance at greatness, but there are people who do not know good things when they see them, who cannot recognize a helping hand if it were placed in front of them. These people deserve your compassion, but do not lose yourself in their recovery, some will simply never know. "

"Old man that is difficult to hear" I said " I like to see people happy, it is in my character to make those smile who need it. It is sad to know that these people will never experience what I have experienced. It does not seem fair to me."

"I understand son" he stated" but does it not make sense that there are people who are lost in betrayed love, who are surrounded by friends with ulterior motives, that there exist those who hurt others because they themselves are hurt?"

"Yes old man" I confirmed " I know they exist"
"Then son," the old man interrupted", you must then realize that those people, as much as a person needs to know what they should do to be happy, they will only learn from there own mistakes,if they learn at all, they cannot be guided, they will laugh as if you were naive, balk at your seemingly ignorant advice and bring you closer to losing yourself in their pain. Do not let this happen. You are good and you are better than that. Be their friend and lead by example, but lead, do not guide, and those who want to be happy, truly be happy, will take notice and change themselves without your help. It is the only way"

"Old man, is this the life that you have lead? A life of leading, a life of knowing what makes you happy" I asked,

"Yes son, I have had a good life and I know many great people who once confused themselves with a life that only brought them drama, problems no person should go through, friends who brought themselves close to insanity." He continued" You are above them, you can be the person they need, I can see it in you, that is why you are here, is that not the reason?"

"You too are wise, old man, it is true, I simply want to listen, to know of the stories before my years, to know why the things are the way they are. It is my purpose, curiosity, if you will"

"Son, you continue to surprise me, a person of your age should not know these things yet, but you have grasped them and you know what you should do, you bring hope back to me" the old man continued "As the years have passed, I have noticed people losing the gift that makes them good, relying on modern social methods to gain what they want, not what they need, and it has created a world full of people who are unsure, filled with those who think they are happy, but have never quite felt the simplicity behind happiness, to know how little is needed to be happy. They do not know that happiness is not materialistic, it is in the heart and shared with those who want it just as badly."

I had a slightly confused look again, trying to make sense of his words, it was interesting, sitting here with this old man, listening to his opinion on life, intrigued by his wisdom in speaking and his ability to explain himself.

"So old man, you still have not answered my question, why do you still live?" I asked curiously.
"It is because I am not ready to die." He answered quickly and calmly.
"It is because I have had a good life and I find solace in this place, it is filled with people who have little, but find happiness within them, it is comforting to me. I will die when I believe I have done what I have came here to do."
"And what is that old man?" I asked
"That is a question I do not know the answer to, son"

I looked at the old man, slightly pale now, I am certain I had something to do with it; he is weak, as a person of his age rightly should be. I have exhausted him, asked him questions that he used all of his energy to describe in the most genuine and heart felt manner, he needed me to know this is what his many years has taught him, no matter what the cost.

"Son?"
"Yes old man"
"You can see that I am a bit tired, but this conversation is important"
"Why is that old man, I am curious"
"It is because you must know that every person has the capacity to change the world, it exists in everyone, but it only takes one to do it. You are a good person, I do not know you well, but I am sure many people like you, you can go far, but I am certain you already know this."
"being happy is important and many people recognize it," I added" but it is not something I openly admit, it is simply something I give"
"continue life that way son, it is good for you" the old man continued" It was good for you to come here, but I must rest now, I have told you what you need to know and I know it will go a long way"

"Yes old man, I understand" I confirmed " I am glad for this visit, It was clear that you were the person I needed to speak to when I walked in here"

As I left the shelter I thought about the things I had heard that evening, about the simplicities of life and the knowledge of being. It seemed easy but I knew that is never the case. I knew things were going to change, mostly for the good, but some for the bad, and those were the things I feared most. Life changes and so do people but happiness stays in the same, simple form, and that is reassuring. This old man was rich but he had given up everything to be here, amongst these people, those who had an unquestionable capacity for happiness unrivaled in the many places around the world

The next evening, curious to speak again to the old man, I walked into the shelter, and smelled the same scent of old clothes, food and the effects of poor hygiene, as I looked for the old man, the volunteer there approached me and gave me a note from the old man the previous night that he had written before going to sleep, it read:

"Son, you know much now, but I think it what you already knew, you just needed to hear it. Live life as if you knew the meaning of life, give others a chance but don't lose yourself in their failures, remember, every person can change the world. I am tired, I have lived and it has been good, but now I can sleep forever and know it will only get better"